A goat made of ink

Aesthetic + Writing blog

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An idea for "Let's get going" that could be something, but Imma decide that later.

 

"Liliana?"

Liliana froze on the spot. That voice, such a lost one that she hadn't hear in a long time; it was so small and gentle and so wrong.

"Liliana..."

The voice came again and it made her nauseous, still, she didn't turn around to see who-no, what was making that sound that she was so sure wasn't possible. Not there.
The dirt behind her rustled and her whole body tensed up. Even if she wished to run away from there and not look back, there was something small on the back of her head pleading to just turn around. Just to be sure. To make this hell of a feeling go away, to just be sure.

"Lilia-?"

"Shut up!" she exploded. She squished her eyes closed and tensed as the thing got closer until it was just a few rocks between them. Where there should be breathing there was nothing and the place fell silent for a long moment.

"You're not even here"

"Of course not"

Liliana gasped at the answer, opening her eyes wide, however, her gaze remained on the floor. A gentle giggle broke the silence on the air, nourishing the craving soul of Liliana. How long has she gone without hearing someone else? How long has she longed to find someone? To just hear their voice? And even if she knew this was just a lie, it was too beautiful to not shed even one tear of happiness.

"Were you really hoping for her to appear?" it teased and it sounded so wrong on that voice, but it almost made Liliana turn around, if even just to see if that thing had her face. Yet, wouldn't that be worse? Looking at her face and slowly notice all the thing off about it...

"That's pretty selfish" it added.

Liliana slowly moved her head, nodding because she knew. She knew how selfish it was to expect something like that and it made her sick to know how desperate she was for it. She nodded again, faster this time, and felt a knot growing on her throat. All the courage she gained from her anger dissipated, leaving her cold to the core. She opened her mouth to say something but was surprised by the sound of her gasping for air and a small wail that echoed through the place, and just like that Liliana discovered that she was crying.

"You poor thing" it talked with pity and it made Liliana furious again, enough to make her attempt to turn around just to find out that her legs weren't up to the task and fell on her knees. There, Liliana cried, letting her forehead lay on the cold dirt and leaving a small puddle that froze almost instantly, a subtle reminder that yes, she was cold beyond what any human should be able to withstand.

The thing looked at her with patience, not moving or making a sound while Liliana's little whines echoed through the place, getting lost in the not so gentle breeze of that night. Yet, after what could have been five minutes or five hours, it sat on the ground and put a hand on Liliana's back, gently patting and rubbing it, making small circles while mumbling a melody to try and bring some peace, and It only dared to talk when the girl on the floor grew silent and her body wasn't shaking anymore.

"I didn't come here for this. I was sent as a messenger" it explained slowly, making sure to not stop making circles on the girl's back. It smiled, looking at the figure on the ground fondly knowing that this girl's journey was about to get harder.

Liliana carefully lifted her head, not daring to look another way than in front of her, away from the thing on her back.

"Who- Who sent you?" her voice broke but it was enough for the question to be heard.

"That I cannot say but I can assure you that it was a team effort. As for the message, it is something that only you can make sense of"

With that, Liliana could hear the dirt moving under the thing weight until she could feel the cold emanating from its body right at her side. She squished her eyes closed and the thing started whispering in her ear.


conner-kent -

Every feeling you have had about anything, ever, somebody has written it. Somebody has captured it. Maybe thirty years ago, maybe five hundred years ago. It's all the same. People are all the same, essentially. Even feeling completely alone—that there is nothing and no one—somebody somewhere has felt it. And when you find a poem like that it makes you feel that you have found a friend. That's what's so great about it.

Alyssa Brugman, Walking Naked


from "Devotion" (video game by Red Candle)


"Rainbow assembly", 2016
Leeum, Samsung Museum of Art, Seoul, 2016
Photo: Hyunsoo Kim


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